loneliness...

Waiting for the Guide
                                        by Safiyah Fosua

One day
I found myself
In the dense tangle of this thicket
     feet swollen
     arms scratched
     eyes gouged
Contemplating my condition,
Why are you so
     bedraggled?
     scarred?
     frustrated?
I asked my weary soul.
After silence that seemed to last
     for days
     for weeks
     for months
My exhausted soul replied:
In what I thought was faith
     I stepped boldly
     into this place
        of seeming abandonment
Knowing
     this thicket once
     had a well-traveled path for men.
I thought that if I just had
     enough courage
     enough boldness
     enough faith
        to make unsteady steps
Surely
     someone
     who lives veiled in this thicket
        of symbols
        and rituals
        and heartfelt prayer
     would send someone
        to walk with me.
Surely, my soul sighed,
     the Guide
     who lives veiled in this thicket
     has assigned
        some watcher on the wall
        some trimmer of the candlewicks
        some guardian of the sacred canticles
     to watch for my coming
        knowing that I would
           need
           need
           need
           a friend
     to walk with me
     reassure me
    instruct me in ancient ways.
But alas,
     I have been
        waiting
        waiting
        waiting
        And no one has come to walk beside me.
Perhaps, I thought, the watcher has been distracted
     by the lure of gold
        and the blinding glare of dollar $ign$.
Perhaps, the candlewick trimmer has returned
     to mundane existence
        forgetting the value of her charge.
Perhaps, the guardian was there
     watching my struggle
        but unable to recognize my once-warm face, now
        cooled by affliction.
Or perhaps they all died
     at a ripe old age
        wisdom locked in their bosoms.
No matter.
     No one has come.
So
I am still here,
     waiting
     waiting
     waiting
        for that guide
        who lives veiled in this thicket
           of symbols
           of rituals
           and heartfelt prayer
To notice my presence
     and lead me home.