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| Folly River at sunset |
...don't sleep life away...words from my journal dated May 12, 2000...almost twelve years ago. I have been keeping a journal since high school. My very first journal was a little blue book with a key. I have no clue where it is or what happened to it along the way. I would love to chew on those words from long ago...try them on for size. See if I have outgrown them. See if the smile on my face is an easy one; if I am at home in this body; and if my soul embraces those in need of love and comfort. I would like to see if the girl's heart has healed, and if the scars have made it stronger, and if I have been successful in unsticking myself along the way? Would my grandmother, whom I adored, be proud of who I have become and the tough choices I have made? Would her green eyes flash back at my green eyes with pride? It is fair to say that I have lived too much of my life in my head and not enough of it in my body. My move to Folly was an "out of head" experience for me. I have adored every minute...even the minutes that gave me pause or coaxed a tear from my pretend brave heart. To have done this one thing lets me know that I can do anything.
Yes, is the word of the hour.
Yes, yes, yes!
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| Hopsewee |
"You say I am repeating
Something I have said before. I shall say it again. Shall I say it again? In order to arrive there, to arrive where you are, to get from where you are not, you must go by a way wherein there is no ecstasy. In order to arrive at what you do not know you must go by a way which is the way of ignorance. In order to possess what you do not possess you must go by the way of dispossession. In order to arrive at what you are not you must go through the way in which you are not. And what you do not know is the only thing you know. And what you own is what you do not own. And where you are is where you are not."
-T.S. Eliot, “East Coker” from the “Four Quartets”
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